


Going Nuts

by schnaf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, slightly AU, visiting a parallel universe with crunchy nut cereal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Dan is going nuts in Manchester. But one midnight trip to the supermarket changes everything.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 39
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019





	1. Going Nuts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [treecovery](https://archiveofourown.org/users/treecovery/gifts).



> Dear treecovery!
> 
> I was able to choose between several sets of prompts. Yours vibed with me from the first moment on :D Especially the crunchy nut one stuck with me and I just couldn't let go of the midnight theme. So after a bit of consideration, this was the prompt I picked - and wow, I really liked working with it! ♥
> 
> I hope you're happy with the results. :D

'I literally followed every single different path. That was one of the best things i've ever seen, was seriously worth the time.'

Dan still stares at the comment he just posted.  
Was it the right thing to do? Did he say the right things? Damn, writing to Phil is so hard.

And in the end, Phil won't even react to it. He might read his comment, he might be happy about it, but that's all. He won't get curious, he won't want to find out who's behind this comment.  
Dan groans, he burrows his head in his hands. A few minutes ago, he was so sure this was a good idea but now that he posted the comment, he isn't that sure anymore.

This thing with Phil... He shouldn't make such a fuss about him, damn it. After all, he doesn't know the real Phil, after all, he's just a fan. It's not even necessary to talk to other people about his feelings for Phil, Dan can already imagine their reactions. 'It's not real', 'you don't even know him', 'it's just a momentary obsession' - and he understands why they'd think this way, it's super logical and all.  
But somehow, Phil is different. Somehow, he can't stop thinking about him, somehow he feels there's more to Phil than just this funny guy from the videos he enjoys watching.

Admittedly, right now, they're just a YouTuber and his fan. Nothing more. Phil doesn't even know he exists. And Dan can't just pop into his life.  
Or can he?

Dan opens another tab, he just needs to type a 't' in order to get to the page he wanted to visit. He's been on Twitter quite often recently - to look at Phil's tweets, but also -  
If he contacted Phil via Twitter...

Maybe it would take some time. Maybe he'd have to post several responses to Phil's tweets. But at some point, Phil might recognize him. At some point, Phil might realize they share several interests. At some point, Phil might realize he's quite cool, he's quite fun. They'd start to chat on Twitter, they'd send each other DMs, they'd chat on MSN, they'd get to know each other. Then, they'd start chatting on Skype, doing video chats every now and then until their video chats went for several hours - until they'd start to plan their first meet-up. Dan would take the train up north, Phil would wait at the train station for him, they'd both be so anxious because they waited so long to finally see each other in person, they -

Dan shakes his head, just as if he's trying to stop those thoughts. He can't stop them anyways, he really likes to think about how their paths could intertwine.  
But maybe he can pause the thoughts for a few seconds.

It's already a bit of a routine, filling in the blanks of the registration form. Then -  
His cursor lingers over the button at the bottom of the page, his eyes rest on the user name he picked.

danisnotonfire

Just a click, then his Twitter profile is online - just a click, then he's a step closer to Phil.

No. He can't do it. It's pointless, anyway - why should Phil take an interest in him, anyway? He's involved in the YouTube community - Dan still doesn't dare making a video. He's four years older than him. He's funny, he's gorgeous, he's adorable.  
He doesn't need Dan.

Dan sighs as he closes the tab.  
Again.

~*~*~

Manchester can be so quiet at night. No people on the pavements, no cars on the road, just...  
Silence. Street lights. The reflections of the street lights on the wet road.

The supermarket is also empty, Dan realizes as soon as he enters it. Just a cashier who lifts his head as he sees Dan entering, but his eyes return to his book immediately. Dan already knows this guy, he seems to do many of the night shifts. And he's always quiet - of course, he isn't completely silent, of course, he says something when Dan wants to pay for his groceries. But apart from that, he leaves him in peace whenever he needs to do some emergency midnight shopping.  
Just what he needs tonight.

The empty store almost feels a bit eerie. The only thing you can hear is the boring music, the neon lights almost make you forget it's pitch black outside... It's strange to be at a place that's usually full of people. (It feels like a zombie apocalypse and he's the only survivor. Well, he and the cashier.)  
But at the same time, seeing this place so empty feels like it's being taken out of time even though that's a bit eerie, too, he kind of enjoys this feeling.  
It's what he needs right now. A break. Getting away from his life. Escaping into something which feels like a different reality.

Even though Dan knows which way to go in order to get his groceries, he simply walks into the first aisle. Now that he's entered this strange place, he doesn't feel the need to hurry anymore so he simply goes along a bit. He already knows the supermarket; after all, it's the closest to the university and thus, to his home. He visits it during daytime, too, but it's different to be here at night, to look at the same crap at night.

Well, at least for a while. Even in the night, in this eerie atmosphere, it isn't that exciting to look at the assortment of toilet paper.  
Time to get what he wanted, time to get what he's here for.

Dan enters the cereal aisle. And that's when he realizes he isn't alone at the shop. (Well, again - apart from the cashier. Somehow, he doesn't count. Who knows, maybe he's one of the zombies?)  
There's another person, looking at the cereal. A tall, black-haired dude.

'Oh look, you found Phil. In the middle of the night, buying cereal.'

Dan smirks at his mocking inner voice. Since he arrived in Manchester, he's imagined seeing this guy from YouTube everywhere - Phil, AmazingPhil, his favourite YouTuber. Though by now, he's started to make fun of himself - by now, he's realized Manchester is so damn big that he won't just randomly meet the person he desperately wants to meet.

The other guy apparently wants to buy some cereal, too - he's right in front of the colourful boxes. So Dan walks over to him, stops next to him, takes a look at the same shelf.  
Ah, there it is. Crunchy nut cereal. One last box. Just as if it waited for him, only for him.

Then the guy next to him lifts his head.

"Hi."

And Dan freezes.

It's him. Damn, it's him. It's Phil Lester. amazingphil. The guy from YouTube. The guy whose videos he watches all the time. It's -  
The piercing blue eyes, the fair skin, the dark hair – it's him. Damn, hearing his voice in real life feels so surreal – seeing him in real life, just like that, is so surreal but hearing his voice in real life is another level of surreal. It feels like you took something out of the internet and placed it in reality and now it seems kind of out of place.  
Phil. He's here. Damn, he didn't even expect to meet him under regular circumstances, he already gave up on that hope - but meeting him in the middle of the night, in front of a cereal shelf?

Then, Phil moves his hand forward and grabs a box and the spell is broken.

"Wait."

Only now, Dan realizes Phil just greeted him. Not like a buddy, not like somebody he knows, probably, just like you greet the stranger that happens to hang around at a store in the middle of the night, too, but nevertheless - he didn't answer yet.  
And now, he can't anymore. Because there's something more important.

"That's mine."

Phil frowns. Doesn't keep him from picking up the box, though.

"The crunchy nut cereal. It's mine. I wanted it. That's why I came here."  
"But I came here because of them, too. And I got them first."

And by that, the magic of having met Phil fucking Lester disappears. It's not because he instantly loses all respect for him - there's just something more important right now.  
Crunchy nut cereal, that is. He got such a longing for them and even though it would have been more reasonable to stay at his room and continue studying... He felt like he couldn't read just one more word if he didn't have a bowl of cereal right now. So he got up, got dressed and walked over to the supermarket.

"I need it!"  
"I need it more! I need to do some work and I feel like I'm going mad so I just need something to nibble in order to stay sane. You know, I'm making videos -"  
"I know. I watch your videos."

For one moment, Phil looks surprised and... kind of happy? Kind of pleased, somehow. (Wow, that's... Dan thought Phil didn't care about his opinion. But obviously, he does – even though Dan didn't voice his opinion yet, even though Dan only said he watches his videos.)  
It doesn't help, though.

"I don't want to pull the star card or something like that but at least you can understand how important it is for me to finish this video. Please, I came here from across town just to get those cereals. It's an emergency."

Yeah, he actually understands what Phil is up to and normally, if you'd ask him to spare his cereal in order to make sure Phil could make a new video in a completely fictional scenario, he'd be up for it. But this isn't fictional and this isn't about some random cereal in his cupboard he isn't interested in anyways right now. It's an emergency for him, too.

"Same. I have an exam next week and I just can't understand the stuff I'm supposed to know by then. Also, I feel like shit because I came here simply because of you and you won't even respond to my comments which I honestly didn't expect but now, I'm here on my own and I'm always the weirdo and nobody really wants to have something to do with me and I hate university and the stuff I'm learning there and the professors and the exams and the people and my shitty room which looks like a prison cell and -"

Dan stops to catch his breath. That's when he notices Phil's puzzled look.

"You came here because of me?"

Damn, it didn't get past him.  
Honestly, Dan doesn't know what just happened. Apparently, he became a bit hysterical and as soon as he started talking, he just couldn't stop, he needed to get everything off his chest.  
Unfortunately, he didn't skip the part concerning Phil.

He gulps. Damn, how should he explain that without sounding either like a creep or like a weirdo - or like both?

"It's not as creepy as it sounds, okay? I watched your videos and – I was looking for a place to move to and you gave Manchester a positive connotation. I didn't expect to meet you here – well, I hoped I did because we share so many interests and it would have been nice to meet someone here who doesn't think of me as a weirdo because of the stuff I like. But I didn't set out to find you."

It doesn't feel sufficient, fuck. It doesn't feel like he was convincing.  
But... Maybe that's just the way he sees it? After all, Phil is still there - and his puzzled look disappeared, his frown disappeared, he actually smiles at him.

"Obviously. Or else you wouldn't have found me here, at the other end of the city. The university is right around the corner, isn't it? Do you live nearby?"

He - he actually seems to be okay with it?  
Okay, time to calm down. Apparently, it's just a normal talk now, not a star-stalker-talk anymore.

"Yeah, right next to the uni."

One moment of silence, then they remember (around the same time, judging Phil's facial expression) the reason for their discussion.  
It's Phil who returns to their dispute.

"But the crunchy nut cereal..."  
"I really need it. I - It sounds pathetic but it feels like I've got nothing left."

Yes, right now he really feels lost, he really feels shitty. And apparently, fate's found a way to make him feel even shittier - by making him tell his favourite YouTuber, the guy he has a crush on, how pathetic he is.  
Dan can't stop himself. It's just too much - he's so tired, the pressure of his exams is crushing him, the loneliness is tearing at his heart, having met Phil is so overwhelming and the added pressure of 'Did I ruin my first impression?' doesn't exactly help, neither. Failurefailurefailure - now he isn't just failing uni, he's also failing at winning over the guy he likes.  
It's too much. He's without a chance, he just -

He actually starts crying. And feeling the tears run down his cheeks makes him feel even worse. Because hey - what's even more embarrassing than making Phil think he's a stalker? Yup, breaking down in front of him, crying without any reason. (Crying per se would have been embarrassing. But without a cause? Wow, Dan, you've outdone yourself.)

He lifts his head, through his tears, he looks at Phil. Damn, he needs to come up with an excuse, with - with basically anything. Just something that doesn't make him look like a loser anymore...  
He can't. He can't he can't he can't he just doesn't know what -

Then, Phil takes a step forward, puts his arms around him, pulls him closer. And even though Dan feels even more pathetic because apparently, he gives off the impression of being so pathetic that Phil feels the need to hug him...  
It feels good. To let go, to have somebody hold him, to feel Phil's warmth, to not feel alone anymore.

He feels safe.

Dan can't tell how long they stay like that. Even though he knows he probably should let go of Phil, he just can't - even though the tears have ceased by now, even though he feels way better.  
It's Phil who takes the next step. He moves back a bit so they can look at each other, then he -

"Would you mind coming with me? We can share the cereal."

~*~*~


	2. Nuts About Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos - and welcome back to the nuts, this time including my face. My name. Whatever. :D
> 
> I finished writing the fic a few days ago so I was finally able to break it up into separate parts. I decided to go with 3 parts soooo there will be yet another update! \o/

It feels awkward sitting in the taxi. Dan can't even tell why - it's because of the taxi driver, that's for sure. It feels like he's eavesdropping on them, Dan feels like he can't talk to Phil anymore because it wouldn't be just Phil who's listening to him. (Ridiculous. This taxi driver has probably heard more exciting stories before - he probably doesn't care, he probably isn't even listening. Nevertheless, Dan doesn't want him to be a part of their conversation.)  
Apparently, Phil feels the same. Since they got into the cab, he's been completely quiet, but it doesn't feel like he doesn't want to talk to Dan anymore, it doesn't feel like he doesn't know what to say anymore.  
It's quite nice to see they react the same way. Especially because Dan would hate it if Phil tried to talk to him right now. He'd still have his inhibitions, after all.

Actually Phil isn't as confident as he seemed in his videos - at least when he needs to talk to other people. He was awkward around the cashier, he was awkward around the taxi driver and now, he doesn't want to talk.  
It makes Dan realize that he was okay talking to him. After all, it was Phil who greeted him, who talked to him first - who let him know it was okay to talk to him about cereal.  
Dan doesn't know what exactly to make of it. But one thing is for sure: Phil likes him, somehow. He wouldn't have talked to him otherwise, he wouldn't have invited him back home.  
Realizing this feels really good. Even without classifying it.

So they're both not keen on talking as long as the driver can listen to what they say... Luckily, he's creative, luckily, he knows another way to keep themselves busy.  
Dan gets out his MP3 player and his headphones, he hands one earbud to Phil. He accepts it, puts it in his ear.

Oh, he knows exactly what to play. He's got just the right album, the right songs.  
And Phil's face lighting up as soon as the first song starts to play confirms he's right.

Muse. Phil's favourite band. The band Dan happens to like, too.

They don't talk for the rest of the ride. But they don't need to. Just sitting next to Phil, sharing the music with him, knowing they both enjoy the music, knowing Phil feels the same way about the music as him, watching the street lights pass their windows...  
Yeah. That's sufficient.

~*~*~

"It's okay. You can look at my stuff. It's rather awkward if you keep ignoring it"

They've arrived in Phil's apartment. It's rather small - just a cramped bedroom, a bathroom and a combined living room/kitchen/dining room. But it's comfortable nevertheless - and who needs a bigger apartment if you've got a big TV? Phil has his priorities and they're reasonable in Dan's eyes.  
Yet, he doesn't know how to conduct himself here. Again, he doesn't want to seem like a stalker but those shelves filled with movies and games are super tempting. Dan already spotted some stuff he liked – merch, plushies, funny decorative stuff. (A Tetris lamp? What a nerd. It's awesome, though.) But he just can't tell if it's okay if he's taking a closer look. (His inhibitions seem to be quite obvious - Phil noticed them, too.)

Well, if Phil is okay with him getting nosy...

Dan crouches down in front of the TV in order to inspect the shelf underneath it. And soon, he loses his inhibitions. Seeing Phil's stuff is too interesting to keep worrying.  
Phil's collection is a combination of things he already knew Phil liked and some new stuff – some new stuff Dan likes. Several Donkey Kong games, Sonic, Buffy DVDs – even though he really appreciates Phil's taste, this is one thing he can't stand. Why can't Phil keep his stuff neat and in order? He doesn't even place games from one series next to each other – but what's even worse is that he mixes games and films and – Dan even spotted a CD there, also some blank discs... Yes, blank discs. Maybe Phil has a secret super power that consists in knowing the contents of a blank disc just by looking at it, otherwise Dan can't explain how to distinguish them.

Phil's good taste displayed in his collection outweighs his chaos, though. On the one hand, Dan realizes over and over again why this YouTuber AmazingPhil is so interesting - on the other hand, there are so many more layers that make the person Phil interesting.  
He isn't able to delve deeper into this not-actually-a-contradiction. Phil interrupts him.

"Pick a game"  
"Mh?"  
"Let's play a game."

Even though Phil's caught him off guard, Dan is able to pull himself together quickly. A game. Phil wants to play one of his games with him.  
(Okay, so apparently they skipped the part where Dan had to awkwardly let him know he likes gaming, too. Can't complain about that even though Phil really surprised him with his request.)

So... Choosing a game, it is.  
Wow, that's actually quite difficult. On the one hand, he wants to impress Phil with his skills, on the other hand, he wonders which game might be the most fun to play together - also, which game is the best to show he knows what he's dealing with?  
Okay, no need to rack his brain too much. After all, he wants Phil to get to know him and his taste in games is a quite important part of him.  
He ends up with Donkey Kong. Phil nods approvingly, but before he's able to put the disc into the console, Dan stops him. He just remembered why they initially came here. (Not that he's not up for gaming, but... He doesn't want Phil to forget their deal.)

"You promised me cereal."  
"Oh, right."

Phil nods over to the little table in the middle of the room. There's the box they bought before.

"Okay, but what about milk? And – I think a bowl might be quite useful, too."  
"Oh, so you actually wanted to have a bowl of cereal? I planned to eat it as a snack, not as a proper meal."

Is he kidding? That's what he had in mind when he proposed their cereal deal? Just some cereal directly out of the box? Well, Phil might be that undemanding, but Dan isn't. He planned on something else when he went to the shop.

"Are you serious? That's too dry."

Phil shrugs but not in an annoyed way – he seems to be okay with Dan criticizing his way of eating cereal.

"Okay. Start the game, I'll be right back."

He finally slides in the disc, then he walks over to the kitchen part of the room – to the fridge. Dan picks up a controller and starts to navigate through the menu. Then, Phil closes the fridge door and walks over to him. As Dan lifts his head, he notices the regret on Phil's face.

"I'm out of milk, sorry. But you should really try nibbling on them. It's awesome, trust me. At least when it's in the middle of the night."

So he actually isn't kidding. (Well, nevertheless he got up to try to fulfil Dan's cereal wishes. Just like that, without making him feel bad for it. Damn, it's a small thing but it's yet another sign that Phil is actually a super nice person.)

"Well, if you say so."

As they sit down next to each other, Phil's arm brushes his. They're sitting so close next to each other – too close? Well, normally, Dan would have tried to keep his distance but... It feels good to be so close to Phil. Not because he likes feeling him (well, at least that's not the only reason) – it doesn't feel like Phil's invading his personal space.  
Phil picks up the second controller, then they start the game. And now, the last inhibitions about being in the apartment of his favourite YouTuber, in the apartment of a guy he just met, disappear. Playing with Phil feels so normal... They're getting to know each other better step by step and at the same time, it feels like they've known each other for longer already – it feels like he didn't just get to know the YouTube Phil, it feels like Phil knew him before already.

Also, the crunchy nut cereal actually tastes good without milk.  
Must be the time of day. And the company.

~*~*~

Sooooo tired. Dan's soooo tired. It's a wonder he's still awake - he actually considered resting his head against Phil's shoulder so he could finally sleep.  
It's not surprising he's so tired. It's been a long day and he had been exhausted even before he met Phil, and since then, several hours have passed. Meeting him, spending time with him gave him an energy boost, but now he's getting tired again.

Damn, he doesn't want to. He wants to stay awake, he wants to stay with Phil, he wants to spend more time with him. (Because it feels like it's over as soon as he leaves his apartment, because he doesn't know what will happen if he leaves. What if it was just a noble gesture of Phil, letting him stay here? What if he doesn't want to see him again? Honestly, it doesn't feel like that, but he's way too tired to spend too much thought on that. The thoughts are there and he can't make them disappear.) But his eyelids drop again and again.

Then, as they finish the level, Phil stretches. Dan can spot his tummy for a moment and damn, he's so tired, he doesn't even feel bad for looking anymore.  
(Nice tummy. Still awake enough for observations like that.)

"It's getting late, isn't it?"  
"Mh."

Well, he's right. Dan can see the sun rise again, they spent the last few hours playing video games. (And talking. They talked so much they had to stop the game every now and then and it felt so natural. There was always something else to talk about, he didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable.)  
But he doesn't want to admit it.

Phil looks at him, he seems to ponder something.  
What is he up to? Dan tries to guess but his mind is blank and Phil doesn't even give the smallest clue. Well, that is, until he reveals what's on his mind.

"You can sleep here, if you want to. I know it sucks to go home when you just want to sleep, so... You can have my couch, but it's rather small. Or you can sleep in my bed. It should be big enough for the two of us."

That's -  
He feels relieved – he can stay with Phil even longer! And even though it isn't that surprising anymore after the last few hours... Phil wants him to stay. (It's pleasant nevertheless.)

Staying here. With Phil. Maybe it's a bad idea, maybe it's strange at the very least, after all, they just met a few hours ago in the empty supermarket, but...  
It doesn't feel wrong. It feels like the right thing. Because he really doesn't want to leave, because he enjoys knowing Phil feels the same.  
It may be strange, but it's okay. (More than okay, to be precise.)

"Bed sounds just fine."

~*~*~

When Dan wakes up, he's on his own. The other side of the bed is empty, the room is as well, too, there are no sounds that imply that someone is around.  
Dan's eyes drift around. There's not that much to see in here, Phil's bedroom is quite small. Nevertheless, Phil managed to make sure you'd know it's his room - there's stuff spread around the whole room. On every surface, including the floor, there are socks, an empty cup, some little figurines...

Then, Dan spots something else. On Phil's pillow, there's a piece of paper. He picks it up.

'Went out to do some shopping, will be right back. Feel at home :]'

Dan sinks back into the pillow with a smile, then he turns around to bury his face into Phil's pillow.  
It still smells like him.

It feels so surreal, being here, reading this note, smelling Phil. And actually, it doesn't feel surreal because it's AmazingPhil. No, it's because he's at the place of the guy he had a great night with – the guy he could talk to for hours without feeling uncomfortable or annoying, the guy who had this spark in his eyes, the guy who convinced him of eating dry cereal, who made even eating dry cereal fun.  
And now, there's the note... It wasn't necessary, there was no reason to worry for Dan - okay, maybe that's because he was so sleepy, he wasn't able to worry yet. Nevertheless he made sure Dan knew where he was - and made sure he still felt welcome even though Phil left the apartment.

A memory slowly emerges. When he was almost asleep – or was he already asleep? He can't tell anymore.  
Did Phil move closer? Did Phil stroke his shoulder before putting his arm around him?  
Dan isn't quite sure. After all, Phil left the bed before he woke up. But there's this faint memory of him shuffling closer towards Phil, of Phil hugging him.

Well, whether he spooned him or not – Dan really enjoyed his stay with Phil.  
And he's supposed to continue enjoying it. Phil wants him to stay until he's back. No, that's not even the point – it seems like he feels the same way as Dan. He just wants to go on, he just wants everything to stay the same. No end, no big decisions, just the two of them.  
Damn, can it just stay like that forever? No responsibilities, no worries, just him and Phil, just the feeling of...

Of being at home. That's what it is. Phil's place managed something within a few hours his room in the student dorm hadn't managed up to this day - it became home.  
(It sends a shiver down Dan's spine. But... This realization makes him dread the moment everything is over even more.)

Dan gets up, he brushes his teeth - Phil gave him a toothbrush the evening before -, he gets ready. His hair looks terrible and he actually considers borrowing Phil's hair straightener but no, he just can't do that. Looks like Phil has to deal with the beginnings of hobbit hair. (At least, he had perfectly straight hair yesterday so Phil knows that he can actually do better than hobbit hair.)

As he walks over to the living room, Dan feels a pang of guilt. After all, he wanted to study yesterday and instead, he spent the night (falling in love) playing video games and talking. Luckily, he brought a book and some notes with him – Phil made fun of him for fulfilling the cliché of a law student who always carries a code of law with him.  
(No, he isn't. He just considered studying outside – hoping he'd be a bit more motivated if he didn't feel like he was imprisoned in his tiny room anymore.)

Well, there's not much he can do now anyway... Yes, he's hungry and he'd get breakfast if he was at his own place but he isn't and even though Phil told him to feel at home, he can't just raid his fridge. Also, considering he went shopping... He could bring something for breakfast. (Ugh, that's so cute.)  
He could also play another round of Donkey Kong or another round of the shitty game Phil showed him yesterday - it's actually so shitty they had a lot of fun with it. But again - he can't just switch on Phil's console. (Well, he could. It wouldn't feel as weird as taking some food.) Additionally, it wouldn't be as much fun without Phil.  
And there's still this pang of guilt. Phil told him to feel at home - well, even at his place, he wouldn't play a game now. Instead, he'd take a look at uni stuff.

Thus, Dan lies down on the couch and starts revising.

It's better and worse than yesterday at the same time. On the one hand, he feels way better than yesterday which makes studying way easier, but on the other hand, his mind drifts away all the time. Suddenly, he remembers the way, Phil poked out his tongue when he laughed, the wrinkles around his eyes, the way his shoulder touched Dan's on purpose when they beat a level and he wanted to tell him 'Well done', but the game already continued, the supposed hug in bed, the hug in the supermarket, the random hug before they went to bed – Phil is super affectionate and Dan really enjoys it.

Damn, he fell in love. It took him just a few hours to fall in love with the real Phil. And it's different from the feeling he had for AmazingPhil. It's... Yes, he liked him before. But now, there's also this longing to be close to him again, there are those little snippets only he got to see...  
And damn - it could have been worse. Phil isn't a bad choice for falling head over heels.

How should he concentrate on some stupid law theory with thoughts like that clogging up his head?

Then he's interrupted in his studies for good. He hears a door open, someone humming – Phil humming, it's Phil and he's huming one of the Final Fantasy songs. Dan can feel the smile spread on his face again. (Even if he tried to resist Phil... It isn't possible, he just couldn't do it. Phil is simply too...)  
It just takes a few seconds before Phil opens the living room door and he enters.

“Hello.”  
"Hi there. I bought milk. So we can have regular cereal for breakfast."

Breakfast... Well, they didn't sleep that long but considering it was almost morning when they went to bed - you probably can't call this meal breakfast anymore. But he doesn't want to be picky. They just got up and breakfast is the first meal after you get up – also, Phil took his cereal preferences into account. (And he went to buy some milk for him. Maybe he wanted cereal with milk this time, too, but Dan is part of the reason why he went shopping.)  
Dan puts down his book, he gets up. And it simply feels natural to hug Phil.

~*~*~


	3. Not A Tough Nut To Crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time to crunch some nuts again! :D
> 
> This is the last part of "Going Nuts". I hope you enjoyed the extended shopping trip! ♥

~*~*~

Apparently, they've got the same taste in breakfast - apparently they both didn't doubt that their first meal after waking up should be breakfast, disregarding the time of day. Phil didn't even consider Dan would have anything else than cereal, so that's all he got. (Well, apart from some other stuff he needed. But he didn't buy any other breakfast ingredients.) And it's okay for Dan - it's totally okay Phil didn't make things awkward by preparing a big breakfast and it's quite nice to share their cereal yet another time.  
(Their cereal. The first of many 'our's and 'we's? Damn, he's so full of hope - but at the same time, he doesn't dare think about it, at the same time, he doesn't dare become too hopeful. He tries to treasure the moment, not thinking about the future, not thinking about the big question - how will things proceed with them?)  
So it's just cereal. Phil prepares some coffee for them, they sit down at the table and...

Damn, it's still so cosy here. Munching on the cereal, talking again because they didn't talk enough before they went to sleep...

"So you were studying already when I was away?"  
"Yes. Still need to catch up... But it's working better now."

Because you make me feel comfortable. Because I feel so much better when I'm with you - or just at your place. Because meeting you made me realize I'm not alone. Because I don't feel like shit anymore since we met, since you made me feel welcome, because even studying for an exam I'm about to fail doesn't make me feel like shit anymore because you gave me the feeling I'm more than that.

Dan doesn't express his thoughts - he just can't, that'd be over the top. But... Maybe Phil feels what's on his mind. Maybe Phil can tell from the few words he said and from his expression and from his looks.  
Maybe he actually can. His smile turns soft and as he moves his hand, Dan almost expects him to grab his hand or to stroke his cheek. Instead, he picks up the sugar dispenser and puts it down a bit to the left.  
(That's not what he was about to do.)

Then, Phil diverts his attentions from his actions.

"If you want to, you can stay here – or pick up your stuff and return here. Maybe studying works better here? Different environment, no other students distracting you..."

Yes. He was right. Phil got the memo, Phil understood why exactly studying works better now.  
But that's not all.  
He's not ready to let go either... Well, it's just what Dan wants, too.

(Just staying here forever... Should be no big deal. Of course, he'd take a bit longer to get to uni, but coming home to Phil would totally be worth it. Phil's small apartment? It's okay for the beginning, they could move later.)  
(Okay, he probably should stop dreaming.)

"That would be great. But I don't want to annoy you."  
"You'd be quiet so you wouldn't be annoying."  
"Even worse. Having a guest that's not even entertaining."

Phil laughs, he pokes out his tongue on the corner of his mouth again. (Damn, he's so adorable.)

"It's okay. I need to script my next video so I need to shut up, too. And I like being around you."

Wow. It kind of feels like the next step. Spending time together without doing something together, just being close to each other, each doing their own thing...  
Then, he remembers something.

"The video you wanted to make yesterday? The video you needed the cereal for?"

Phil giggles.

"Yeah. Looks like I got a bit distracted."

Before Dan can say anything, he hurries to defuse the situation.

"it's okay, after all I was stuck anyway. I'll try again now, maybe it helped to get my mind off the video."  
"Same with studying."

Just in case Phil felt guilty for keeping him from revising...  
It's okay that they spent a few hours playing games and talking (and getting to know each other). For both of them.

~*~*~

Studying at Phil's place actually feels way more productive than studying at his place. Much more peaceful - Phil's living room is way more comfortable than his room at the dorm and it's so relaxing to be able to study without somebody walking into his room every now and then, without having to listen to the drama on the hallway and in front of the house...  
It's not entirely quiet, though. Phil told him when he gave up on his video idea, he ranted to Phil about a theory he didn't get and even though Phil couldn't exactly participate, ranting to him helped a lot as it made Dan realize he had made a mistake in his notes, Phil asked him if he should do a Q&A video instead of the video he originally planned, Dan read him a funny story he just looked up, Phil in return read some crazy questions he received... Then there was their little trip to Starbucks where they bought caramel macchiatos but still, he gets a lot more done than in the last few days.

It feels so good to be around Phil. Actually, when he went to his place to get some stuff – more books but also some clothes because Phil told him he could stay yet another night if he'd like to – he hurried to get back to Phil as quickly as possible.  
(Head over heels. And when Phil decides he's had enough of him... Oh boy, he's going to be in trouble.)  
(But it doesn't feel like Phil just endures his presence, it doesn't feel like Phil just wants him around for a certain amount of time. Instead, it feels like he feels the same as Dan.)  
(Dan decides again and again not to spend too much thought on it. Right now, he's with Phil, right now, they're enjoying being together. That's sufficient.)

Just as Dan starts to get inattentive, Phil throws aside the notepad he's been scribbling on.

"I'm done."

Well, Dan doesn't complain about the distraction. It's time to take a break.

"'Done' as in 'you're finished' or as in 'you can't stand the questions anymore'?"

Phil smiles at him and - he wouldn't need to answer anymore, his broad smile is enough of an answer.

"'Done' as in finished'. I think I've got enough questions for the video, I can start filming later. You want dinner?"  
"Sure, I'm hungry as hell. Also, you deserve some food for finishing your questions."

Just to make sure Phil doesn't get too pretentious about Dan granting him a reward for finishing his work, he reaches out with his foot to poke Phil. This time, it's really convenient that Phil's apartment isn't bigger - his couch isn't super big so they're still quite close even though they both stayed in their designated corners.  
Phil gets the message. He rolls his eyes at him, then he starts the counterattack.

"Yes, I do. But what about you? Did you revise enough for now?"  
"Oh yes, I did. Have I already told you I hate law?"  
"Yeah. Wait, I wrote down how many times - I need to add one."

Phil leans over to the couch table where he put his notepad. Dan raises his eyebrows.

"You didn't actually count it."

There's no need to object - Dan already saw Phil's badly hidden grin. And he knows it - he stops trying to get his notepad; instead, he leans back. Now he doesn't try to hide his grin anymore.

"No, I didn't. But it's been quite a few times."

Dan groans. But before he can apologize for complaining too much, Phil intervenes.

"And I get you. I really don't envy you. So... Okay, you've earned some dinner, too. Are you up for pasta? I'm quite bad at cooking, but I should be able to make some pasta."

Dan puts aside his books. (It's quite a relief to take a break - even though it's not even the first bigger break since he's been here at Phil's.)

"Pasta is totally okay. As long as it's not cereal again..."

Again, Phil rolls his eyes but at the same time, he laughs.

"Well, at least I know how to prepare cereal."  
"You don't. Dry cereal - do I need to say more?"  
"Shut up. You liked it."

Dan giggles, he feels he's blushing. Yep, Phil got him there - and he knew exactly what he did. The way he raised his eyebrows, the way he lowered his voice, the way he smiled at him... Whew.

Luckily, Phil doesn't expect a response from him. Instead, he changes topic. (Seems a bit like he's trying to avoid cooking...)

"Would you mind helping me with the video afterwards? I could use some help with the questions – I'd need someone who would ask me the questions."

Taking part in an AmazingPhil video? Wow, if somebody had told him this yesterday...  
It's not the AmazingPhil part that convinces him, though. It's...  
Phil needs his help. Phil is his friend, Phil is - more than a friend? Phil is at least his crush, that's for sure. So there's no other way to answer his question.

"Yeah, sure."

For Phil, it isn't that simple, apparently. He frowns.

"Are you okay with being in front of a camera?"  
"Well, I wanted to make videos, too, but I never felt like my ideas were good enough, so..."

Thus, he comes full circle. Phil almost managed to inspire him to make videos and now he's the one who places him in front of a camera.  
He managed to convince Phil, even without telling him about the full circle. The frown disappears, he smiles again.

"Great. But you may need to put cat whiskers on."

Maybe it's a bit naive to agree to everything Phil proposes. But damn, as long as Phil's proposals are that convincing, as long as Phil's proposals sound like fun...

"No problem."

~*~*~

Manchester can be so quiet at night. No people on the pavements, no cars on the road, just...  
Silence. Street lights. The reflections of the street lights on the wet road.

Just like almost 24 hours ago, Dan marvels at the beauty of the city at night. But this time, he isn't walking through the streets on his own. This time, he's high above the streets, on the tiny balcony of Phil's apartment.  
And he isn't on his own. Phil is next to him, they've got their arms around each other, they are so close and Dan's heart beats so fast.

"Why did you decide to take me with you?"

A reasonable question in Dan's view. After all, he outed himself as his stalker shortly before Phil invited him home – well, at least he told him he was his fan and so on. He couldn't have blamed Phil for leaving as soon as possible – without him. But no, he's here, on Phil's balcony, after spending almost a full day in his apartment.  
He doesn't have to be that self-deprecating about the fact he's still here. The first impression he left on Phil may have been a bit dubious but since they're at Phil's apartment, he doesn't seem that terrible anymore, probably. At least he feels comfortable, he doesn't feel like a burden or like a stalker.

Well, in fact it's even more than that. He feels like Phil genuinely enjoys his presence, he feels like Phil is happy about him being there. And that's why he decided to ask this question.

(Some clarity, please. There's so much he's actually quite sure about, but... He needs to talk.)

Phil blushes. Just a tiny little, but it's enough that Dan can see it even though it's basically dark outside and they only have the street lights far below and the light from the apartment.  
He takes some time to answer. But Dan doesn't feel like he's keeping him in suspense - Phil's fingers trailing up and down his back let him know he actually wants to answer, he just needs to find the right words.  
Then -

"When you entered the store, I spotted you at once and I – I couldn't stop looking at you. I..."

He turns his head, they're looking at each other and...  
Dan knows. Phil doesn't have to continue talking, Dan simply knows what he was about to say just by looking at him. And this impression is so strong, even his self-doubts can't deny it.

He likes him. Phil likes him. He liked him so much that he was able to overlook his strange behaviour – no, it's more than that, he didn't even ignore his strange behaviour, he accepted it and instead of judging him for it, he decided to take care of him.  
Because he liked him. And he still does, he does so even more since they spent some time together, since they got to know each other. Otherwise, he wouldn't be that nervous.

Phil clears his throat. He actually doesn't finish his sentence, instead he leaps in time.

"I don't regret bringing you here. I have a great time with you. And it wasn't because of the cereal. It was because of you."

Maybe it's too early, maybe they don't know each other long enough. His rational side tells Dan to wait, to let the news sink in, to calm down, to wait for another day. But...

There's no need to be rational. Not after Phil let him know how he feels about him. He didn't say a lot but what he said, the way he said it, the way he looked at him... It's sufficient. No more need for his rational side.

Damn, he feels so... Relieved. Happy. Overwhelmed. But at the same time, his mind is clear and he knows what to do.  
He moves a bit closer, lifts his hand to place it on Phil's cheek. It trembles and Phil probably can feel it, but he doesn't say anything about it, he just looks at him with his big blue eyes and -

Dan leans forward. Closer, closer, closer - he can already feel Phil's breath on his face and - damn, he's so nervous, but so is Phil, they're both so damn nervous, they're both so -  
(in love.)

Then he kisses Phil. And as Phil kisses him back, everything falls into place.


End file.
